Marriage Is
by StrawberryCrush
Summary: It wasn't perfect by any means, but it was theirs.
1. ABCs of Marriage

**This was a labor of love, seriously. It started out as just something simple that turned into, well, this. I apologize in advance for the length, but hopefully you won't mind. Based on the ABCs of Marriage.**

**For those of you who have read my previous works know I'm a sap, a huge one. I included a headcannon that I first introduced in my other story, A Fine Mess. I also pulled no punches with a couple of these, so be mindful.**

**Enjoy! *throws fic at fandom and hides***

* * *

_1\. __**A**__bsolutely adore each other..._

May was sitting at the kitchen table when her mother walked into the kitchen and started making coffee. The conversation was light as her mother asked her about her plans for the day. They fell into a comfortable silence while her mother took sips of her cup. Bobby walked into the kitchen, greeting May, and went over to where Athena was standing.

She was leaning against the counter, looking at her phone when she said, "Morning, baby, do you-"

Whatever she was about to ask him was silenced by Bobby tilting her face towards his, and kissing her. Harry found it gross, but May always found it sweet when they showed affection in front of them. Their lips parted and she could tell her mother was trying not to blush.

"I was trying to decide what kind of coffee I wanted, so just thought I'd see which one you were drinking," he told her. He walked towards the cabinets and said, "tastes good. Which one is that?"

Athena turned to look at him, "the Colombian one. You know you could have just asked me."

"Where's the fun in that?"

May chuckled to herself. It was like this, in some way or another, every time that they were at home together. They made the love they held for each other obvious. Even now, as they talked, May saw them standing close, touching, smiling, laughing at each other. This was what happiness looked like, she felt, and she loved seeing it.

_2\. __**B**__e best friends..._

"Tell me again how you roped me into watching a Friends marathon with you?" Athena asked. She sniffed and wrapped the blanket she was cocooned in tighter around her.

"You gave me the flu," Bobby walked back into the living room with two bowls of homemade soup, handing her one of them.

"Excuse you. You gave yourself the flu. I told you I felt like I was getting sick when you wanted to be all under me the other day."

"It's still your fault because those shorts you were wearing that day should probably be illegal," she rolled her eyes, "anyway, you weren't doing any complaining then." She eyed him as he sat next to her and took some of the blanket she was wrapped in. He ignored her and took it anyway making sure it was spread out over both of them.

"Really, Bobby?"

"Yep. Besides, you know you actually like this show."

"Eh, I tolerate it. For you."

"And I love you for it."

"I know you do."

_3\. __**C**__ompromise..._

"What do you want for dinner?" Athena asked.

"Whatever you want." Bobby answered, knowing exactly where this conversation was going.

"Nah, what do you want?"

Bobby gave it some thought. Alright, he'd take the bait, "Mexican."

"But we had that a couple of days ago," there was a slight whine in her voice.

Bobby rolled his eyes, "Athena, why do we always do this? We both know that we're going to end up getting what you want."

"Not all the time."

"99.9% of the time."

"Stop exaggerating. I just like to see if what you want sounds better than what I want."

"What did you want?"

"I have a craving for Sushi."

"We can have that, it's fine."

"Great. Love you," she said sweetly.

"I'm hanging up now." Her laughter could be heard as the call ended.

It was another half hour before she walked through the door with their dinner. After eating, Bobby cleared the dishes. When he came back into the dining room, she was sitting there with a familiar covered dish in front of her. She slid the dish over to him for him to open. He smiled when he saw it was flan from his favorite Mexican place.

"Sometimes, we can both have what we want," she said as as she handed him a fork.

_4\. __**D**__iscover new things together..._

"There's another another episode?"

"Did we find a reality show that you actually like?"

"Like is a strong word. I will say that this kept me entertained."

"Entertained? You were a running commentary the entire time."

"I got into it," he hated the self-satisfied grin he saw on her face, "just press play."

She did so and they settled in for the next episode .

_"Previously on Love After Lockup..."_

_5\. __**E**__ncourage each other..._

"I hate this!" She huffed in frustration as she struggled to sit up. She was so tired. Tired of being in pain, tired of not being able to really to do anything. She just wanted to feel like herself again.

"You're doing fine," Bobby told her tentatively, watching her, resisting the reflex to help.

"I just," she leaned her head against the headboard, eyes to the ceiling, "hate feeling useless," her voice cracked, despite her best efforts. She covered her eyes with palms of her hands.

Bobby walked around the bed to sit in front of her, "look at me." She didn't.

"Athena, look at me," he said with a little firmer, "please."

She put her arms down and leaned forward, meeting his eyes. "There is no part of you that is useless. Just because it's hard for you to do certain things right now doesn't mean make you any less needed," he told her as he wiped the tear that slid down her face.

"I know, I know. I just want this to be over. It's been almost two months and I'm still in so much pain. I can barely get up just to feed my babies. It was no where near like this after I had May and Harry. This is new territory for me and I'm not handling it well," she laughed humorlessly, "as you can see."

"I do see it and wish there was more I could do to help you."

"You wish there was more-" she grabbed his hand. "You're already doing so much, you're practically super dad and husband, at this point. I couldn't ask for better if I wanted to try."

"Glad to know that I'm doing okay," it wasn't until Athena said that, that Bobby was aware of his own insecurity in how he was navigating the shift in their dynamic. "And so are you. Trust me, when you're able, there are so many late night feedings and diaper changes with your name on them, but until then, we're good. Everyone's still alive, so there's a pretty good handle on things," he leaned in to kiss her, "give yourself time Athena, okay?"

"Okay."

_6\. __**F**__orgive & Forget..._

Athena was wrong. Now that she'd had time and space to cool off, find her rationale, she could see her fault. A completely avoidable and unnecessary situation created by her shitty mood. She bit, he bit back just as hard, until they reached an impasse and thought it best to just separate.

As she walked into their home from her walk, she could smell the food as soon as she hit the door. She walked towards dining and saw him at the stove. She didn't say anything as she sat down at the dining room table. Chancing a look at Bobby, she saw he was completely focused on his task, face still holding the same angered expression from earlier. Her eyes stayed on him, he didn't even attempt to look at her.

Great. Just great.

She sighed audibly and placed her head in hands, trying to figure out how she was going to fix this. The sound of glass scraping against the table broke her thoughts. She removed her hands to see a plate of food and a bottle of water in front of her. She looked up to find Bobby looming over her, same neutral expression on his face.

"Just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean I don't love you," he walked towards the glass sliding door leading towards the backyard. Without turning back around said, "when you're ready to talk about this like the adults we are, I'll be outside."

She watched as he shut the door behind him. She picked up and a stabbed at the food, taking a bite. The flavorful taste drowned out by the sour inevitability of what she knew she had to do. Putting the fork on the plate, she rose from the table. She grabbed the plate, the water, and a blanket from the back of the couch before heading outside.

He was laying in one of the lounge chairs on the patio. She sat her things on the table, spread out the blanket, and laid in his arms, covering both of them. Feeling his arms wrap around her, she reveled in his warmth.

"Look Bobby," she said as sat up and met his eyes, "I'm sorry. I was upset and looking for an outlet. I, completely unfairly, took it out on you. I should have handled it better"

"Yeah, I figured when you came in the door this afternoon. You know, you we could have just talked about what was really bothering you when you were ready."

"I know, I was being difficult-"

"Oh, were you? I couldn't tell," the remark earned Bobby a light swat on the chest. She was grateful for the light-hearted joking.

"I was pissed off and, because of it, I pissed you off and created this whole unnecessary thing. I'm truly sorry."

He put his finger under her chin and brought his lips to hers, "already forgiven," he said, tone low.

This wasn't the first time and, probably, won't be the last time something like this happened. It was okay, though. As long as they were able to see past their bullshit and get back to this, what made them, them, they would always be fine.

His lips were back on hers, this time with more hunger. The kiss deepening. Athena stopped him before she could get completely lost in it. "Can we hold off on the makeup sex until after I eat?"

She sat up and grabbed the food off the table beside them and was ready to dig in when he said, "only if we can do it out here?"

Her grin was wide, "feeling a bit adventurous, aren't we?" She eyed him as she brought the fork to her lips.

"Well, we haven't pissed off the neighbors in a while," he said nonchalantly. She knew he was speaking of one neighbor in particular.

"We haven't, have we?"

7\. **G**aze into each other's eyes...

It was one of the first things that attracted him to her, her eyes. He would even say they held a certain power over him. Even now, as he sat in front of her, captured by her dark brown orbs, it was really hard for him to think of a convincing counter argument. Unfortunately for him, she was completely aware of this fact, too.

"Fine, Athena, we can spend Christmas with your parents this year."

She smiled brightly and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, "I knew you'd see things my way."

"Yeah, yeah."

_8\. __**H**__and holds & hugs..._

It always amazed them how tactile they were around each, how much touch truly defined their relationship. Whether it was sitting on the couch watching a movie or out on a date, their hands always found their way to each other. And, on those tough days, when the job becomes more than they handle, all they needed to do was give each other a look. It was their signal, their arms wrap around each other and everything else falls away.

There was an instant calming sensation in their contact that was unmatched.

_9\. __**I**__nspire & intrigue each other..._

They actually enjoyed when they got to work together. Even in the mist of pure chaos, they retained the ability to work in tandem to keep the situation under control and do what needed to be done. Their energies fed off of each other's. In truth, they found that they made each other better leaders.

_10\. __**J**__oke, laugh, & have fun..._

They were at his childhood home in Saint Paul for the Christmas holiday, visiting with two of his sisters and one of his brothers. His sibling were finally getting to meet Athena and the kids for the first time. They were also reconnecting since he hadn't seen them since Marcy, BJ, and Brooke's funerals.

Bobby and Athena were sitting outside on the porch steps, as Athena refused to go any further. The lawn was blanketed with fresh snow from the storm that pasted through the previous night. She was layered and holding on tight to him trying to stay warm.

"Are you sure you don't want to that walk, show you around my old 'hood?" Bobby asked.

"I'm fine right where I am, you got me to come out here. I think that was more than enough. That's looks like freezing and death." Bobby looked at the smooth ground where he and his brother, Roland, had shoveled earlier that morning. He actually found himself glad to be back in it, he like LA winters just fine, but it was nothing like being back here again.

Getting up, he went out into the yard, jumping and sliding showing her everything was fine. "It seems okay out here, I don't think I've died yet."

"Stay on out there, I told you I'm fine right here," by the time she finished that sentence a snowball hit her in the chest. Bobby stood there holding two more snowballs, ready to throw, "Bobby, what in the hell ?"

His answer was to throw another snowball at her.

"Will you stop that?" The smile in her voice betrayed the annoyed look on her face.

"Come make me, Sergeant," he said as he threw the last snowball at her. It hit her right in the face, "oh fuck, I wasn't trying to do that. Are you okay?"

She stood up, walked to the bottom of the steps, and said, "oh you're going to pay for that one, Captain," she started gathering snow.

Bobby, who now realized what happening, took off running. Athena started throwing. They soon found themselves in the middle of a full scale, competitive snowball fight. They probably looked like children laughing, screaming, and running all over the yard, they didn't care.

Ronnie, Rogue, and Roland looked out the window at their brother and his wife. Rogue smiled loving seeing her brother so happy. She turned around towards May and Harry behind them, "is it always like this?" She asked

"Pretty much," they answered simultaneously.

"I'd be that happy, too, if my wife was that hot. You think she has a sister?" Roland commented. Ronnie and Rogue just looked at him.

"She doesn't," May told him.

"Oh damn, hot cousin then?"

"Please ignore him," Ronni told the children, "I think our mom dropped him one too many times was he was a baby."

_11\. __**K**__eep each other's secrets..._

He knew the truth about her relationship with her mom. She knew the truth about his phobia of needles. One wouldn't think these two things would correlate, but they did as the reasons why family was a touchy subject for both of them.

Little by little they eased each other into the harsher parts of what made them tick, knowing that the information would never go further than the two of them.

_12\. __**L**__ove each other fully & completely..._

He was walking into the kitchen, in his dress blues, ready for the LAFD Charity Gala, when he was stopped cold at the sight of her. She was sitting on a stool, legs crossed, putting the final touches on her hair and makeup, looking at the compact in her hand. She was wearing a deep red dress that hugged all the right places. The high slit was giving more than teasing peaks of her thighs. Her hair was styled in shoulder length curls. God, she was gorgeous.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare?" She asked without looking at him, closing the compact with a pop.

"Can you blame me? You're beautiful," He said as he walked towards her.

She smirked, leaning back on the counter behind her, "you're bold."

"You didn't look like the type that appreciated cheesy pickup lines. So I thought I'd try being direct," he leaned against the counter next to her, "besides, I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"What makes you so sure this flattery is working?"

"You haven't told me off yet, so I must be doing something right."

A small smile crossed her face before it fell back into her mask of aloofness, "you're intriguing. And I might have a thing for handsome men in uniform."

"Is that right?" He asked as he moved closer to her.

"It is," she found herself leaning in and kissing him. When they broke apart she said, "sorry, I don't think we would've been able to keep that up much longer. We should get going, if we don't want to be late."

"Right," he said with a little reluctance, "I do love when we do that."

"Well we do have the night to ourselves. What do you say we pick where we left off when we get home."

"I like the way you think."

_13\. __**M**__arvel at each other's talents..._

Athena told Bobby that multitasking was one of her many talents at the beginning of their relationship. She meant it.

It was late when he walked through the door. The house was quiet, cozy with fireplace burning to combat the winter chill. He walked into the living room to find Athena and Harry asleep on the couch. Ayesha was asleep in the baby swing they kept down there, Amelia was asleep against Athena's chest. On the coffee table was what looked like Harry's homework on top of Athena's study materials for her exam. He saw a plate he knew was for him on the kitchen counter, as she always did when he worked late.

Wanting a little bonding time with his babies, he went to take Mila from his wife. As soon as his hand touched Mila's back he heard, "Robert, I promise you, if you touch this baby, I will not hesitate to smack you. I just got her to sleep."

He just backed away and went upstairs to change, knowing Athena was not kidding.

_14\. __**N**__urture each other's soul..._

She ran her fingers along the balcony railing as she walked out of their hotel room. It was very early, so no one was out yet. All that could be heard were the waves crashing against the shoreline. The skyline was dusted in pale blue, pink, and orange from the rising sun. She sighed deeply in contentment and took a sip from the mug in her hand.

She felt his presence. An arm slowly wrapped around her waist, pulling her body flush against his. His lips pressed a tender kiss to the space where her neck and collarbone met. His other arm wrapped around her. She leaned against his chest, enjoying the embrace. No words were needed.

This trip was just what they both needed. They'd been able to reconnect and get back what they'd been steadily losing, unhindered. No children. No demanding jobs. No pressures leading to arguments. No distance. No one else but them.

_15\. __**O**__vercome problems together..._

"He thinks that once the babies are born, he'll get left behind and you won't care about him anymore." May reluctantly told her mother.

"What? Where did that come from?" Athena asked her daughter, stunned.

"You guys remember, TJ?"

"Harry's friend that recently moved?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, him. Well, one night I overheard a conversation between the two of them when TJ Skyped him. I don't remember exactly how the topic came up, but Harry told him about having a new sibling. That's when TJ told him how that was the exact reason why he lived with his dad now. His mom didn't really want him around anymore after she had a kid with his stepdad. I do remember him saying to Harry that he hoped his mom didn't treat him like that, but be prepared if she does because babies change everything."

"Oh my god, when did they talk?"

"About three weeks ago."

Everything made so much sense now. That was around the time when she started noticing changes in Harry's behavior. They felt like something was bothering him, but he'd write it off, saying that he was just upset because he didn't understand something that he was learning at school. She had no idea it was anywhere close to this. "So he's been lying about what's going on with him."

"Yeah, I thought I could intervene when I saw that this was bothering him. He broke down and told me everything and that he was scared, mainly because he'd go through it alone because I was older and this wouldn't really affect me. I could take care of myself. I tried to tell him you guys would never do that to him. I thought I'd gotten through."

"Why didn't you tell us, May?"

"I didn't want to stress you guys out more, there's so much going on right now. I thought I'd gotten through to him and he asked me not to tell you. I'm telling you guys now because he told me that he was thinking about asking to live with dad to 'go ahead and be out of the way,'" she said with air quotes.

"Thanks for telling us May. This ends tonight. Harry!" Athena called out to her son.

Her son came to the top of the stairs, "yeah, mom."

"Come downstairs, we need to talk to you," she looked at May, "alone."

May nodded and got up from the chair she was sitting in. As she passed her brother she mouthed "I'm sorry" to him before going upstairs to her room. Harry, slightly confused, sat down in the same chair his sister had occupied.

Athena, never being one to beat around the bush, got straight to the point, "something has come to my attention and we need to talk."

"Okay."

"We've been told about how you're scared that things are changing and you might get left behind because of it. I-"

It only took a few seconds for the realization to dawn on him, "May told you?" He huffed.

"She did," Athena.

"As she should have," Bobby told him.

"Right," Athena moved to sit on the edge of the coffee in front of her son, "Harry, I'm sorry your friend is being put through something so horrible Harry," she grabbed his chin and lifted his face to look at her, "but I need you to understand that will never happen in this house. I can promise you that."

"But can you really, though?" Harry leaned back, "mom, everything's changing, the move, the babies. You guys already said that you're building a life together, plus what happened between you and dad. May and I are part of your old life. What's to stop you from changing the way you feel about us?"

"Oh, Harry. You and your sister are not just some part of my life, you are my life. Nothing going on, or what did and didn't happen with your father, will ever change that because I love you both. Yes, Bobby and I did say that we're building a life together, but it will always include you two. Remember what I told you before Bobby and I got married, either we're all okay with it or it doesn't happen."

"Yeah."

"Making sure that you guys have been included in every decision has been very important to your mother and me. We've discussed everything with you. I think the only thing we didn't discuss was adding to the family, but I think we can ask for a little forgiveness, we didn't even discuss it with each other," Bobby sat against the arm rest next to him, "nothing that happens between me and your mother will ever change how she feels - how either of us feel, truly - about the two of you."

"I know that. So much has changed, so much so fast. Mom's been happy and I was fine with it. I am fine with it, it's just when T.J told me that..." Harry trailed off.

"You felt if it could happen to him, what's to stop it from happening to you." Bobby finished for him.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Actually, May come out from wherever you're hiding and come down here," May came out from around the corner and down the stairs, "I want to look at both of you when I say this: if you're uncomfortable or overwhelmed, tell us. There's a problem, we fix it, together. I'm your mother, I don't care what I have going on, I'm never to busy for you. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am." Harry and May answered simultaneously.

"Harry, do you feel better?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Good," Athena grabbed Harry's face and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ah! Mom, stop." Harry tried to move out of his mother's hold, "you get over here, too," Athena pulled her daughter into the embrace, "I love you both."

"Love you, too." May said.

"Yeah, love you." Harry said.

She looked over her children's heads and met Bobby's eyes. She knew every problem they face would be solved this easily, but they'd face them together.

_16\. __**P**__lay games..._

"And why are we doing this?" He asked as he shuffled the cards.

"I'm teaching you how to play Spades."

"I already know how to play. You know that," he made a show of expertly shuffling the cards.

"Yeah, but you don't know how to play, play," she stated as a matter of fact.

"Um, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Baby, do you know the correct card order? What reneging truly means?"

"Something strong tells me I'm going to be wrong if I attempt to answer those questions."

"That's what I thought. Deal," she said preparing for another game, "I can't have you embarrassing me when we go down to Florida for my family reunion."

As he passed out the cards, he knew she was only halfway joking.

_17\. __**Q**__uiet each other's fears..._

"We got this," Bobby stated warily as he looked at Athena.

"For sure." Athena said from beside him, with much more certainty. Athena grabbed his hand, "everything will be fine, I'm sure of it." She knew, he knew she did.

He felt twinges of insecurity as looked down at their newborn girls, Ayesha in his lap, Amelia in Athena's. Fears of not being enough for them, not deserving of being a parent again danced around in his head. He'd been okay throughout Athena's pregnancy, but now that they were here and home everything was hitting him all at once.

Ayesha started to fuss and he quickly picked her up. The cries quieted instantly. He smiled down at her as he rocked her back to sleep.

"She loves you so much already, they both do," Athena looked down at Amelia, "isn't that right sweetheart?"

Everything would be okay.

_18\. __**R**__emember the little things..._

_Don't kill anyone today._

_One certain piece of shit coworker is making that very hard, but I think I'll manage. Besides orange isn't my color anyway._

_1st: Every color is your color.  
2nd: You won't have worry about that, you're not getting caught. We bury the bodies together._

_Didn't you just tell me not to kill anyone?_

_You know how well you listen. Always be prepared for everything, right?_

_You being this ready is oddly sweet. But I'm fine though. I'll let him live. The reminder is appreciated._

_Well what kind of husband would I be if I didn't make sure my wife ate and slept properly, is happy, and didn't commit murder everyday, while letting her know he'd be by her side if she did?_

_19\. __**S**__ay "I love you" everyday..._

Huffing a sigh of relief, Athena leaned against the kitchen island and sipped her coffee. It had been one of those morning when all hell wanted to break loose. From May oversleeping to Harry "forgetting" about his homework assignment, it was a miracle that they made it out of the house in time to catch the bus. Even Bobby left in a rush, being completely thrown off by this morning's craziness, having to run out the door with nothing but a hurried goodbye. Such is life in the Grant/Nash household, she guessed.

The ringing of her phone brought her out of her thoughts. She smiled seeing that it was her father and answered immediately.

"Hey daddy," she beamed, "no, not today, your grandkids-" the sound of the door opening interrupted what she was going to say. She looked to see her husband walking back into the kitchen, "hold on, Daddy," she put the phone on mute, put it down on the counter, and turned towards him, "what did you forget?"

"This," was all he said before he picked her up, placed her on the counter and kissed her.

Thoroughly.

His lips on hers, starved and feverish. It took milliseconds for her to respond, giving as good as she got. Her arms snaked around his neck, bringing them closer. This dance continued for a few more seconds before he broke away from her. Her lips were trying to chase his, brain not having caught up to what was happening yet. She opened her eyes and met his, both a little breathless.

"I love you," he said, holding her gaze, "I realized I forgot to tell you that before I left this morning."

She couldn't help but smile at that. "Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting with the chief right about now?"

"Eh, he'll be alright," Bobby told her, "besides this was more important."

"Alright now, don't come back here without a job," she joked.

"An odd way to say 'Bobby, I love you, too'."

"I love you," she said before giving him one more peck on the lips. She pushed him back so she could jump down off the counter, "now go, you're already gonna be late enough."

"Alright, I'm going, I'm going," Bobby said as he backed away and headed towards the door. Athena shook her head and chuckled as she heard it shut. He always made sure to let her know that he loved her, no matter what. For that, she was grateful.

She picked her phone, checking to see if her father was still on the line. He was. She took the call off of mute. "Hey, daddy, yeah, sorry about that, your son-in-law play entirely too much."

_20\. __**T**__ake time for tenderness..._

Sure fingers caressed lightly down her body. How he missed this, being in this zone with her. He'd barely been able to touch her in months. Between their, May, and Harry's busy schedules, still settling into their new home, the birth of the twins, Athena healing and him taking on more responsibility with the kids because of it, and the overall transition from a family of four to a family of six, they haven't had much time to carve out for each other.

But none of that mattered tonight.

Now that the twins were five months old, they were (mostly)sleeping through the night and with Harry and May doing their own thing tonight, they felt they could take some time for each other. That's how they ended up here, her in his arms, enjoying the rare calm of the night, letting the warmth of the water soothe them.

He could hear the small gasp as his lips kissed along her neck and his fingers crept along her inner thighs. They knew they couldn't take this as far as they wanted, but that was okay. This was enough.

_21\. __**U**__nderstand & care deeply..._

"I'm not doing this with you, mama," Athena dropped the dishes in the sink harder she intended to. She was tired of almost every conversation they had turning into an argument.

"If you acted with some sense, maybe this wouldn't happen."

"Yeah, because every decision you don't get to make for me is nonsensical." Athena rolled her eyes before she knew it.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, I'm still your mother and I will be respected as such," Athena stood up a little straighter at her mother's tone feeling like she was a scolded teenager again, "this isn't about making decisions for you. This is about making your bull-headed behind see reason."

"You think I just jump into everything without thinking. You hated my relationship with Michael. You hate my relationship with Bobby. You can't stand to see me making decisions for myself."

"No, Athena, I can't stand to sit around and see you make mistakes for yourself," Beatrice looked her daughter directly in the eyes, "I told you and kept on telling you when you introduced us to Michael that something was off about him, I didn't know exactly what, but I knew it was something. Did you listen? No, you were too doe eyed in love with him to see it. And look how that turned out."

Athena was fuming, but she pushed it down not wanting to upset her father by causing a big blow up. "What do you want me to say? That you were right? That I shouldn't have done it? I'm not going to do that. I don't regret any of my time with Michael. He gave me our wonderful children. He is the best father my kids could have asked for."

"And I love my grand babies. I'm sure he is a good father, but that doesn't change what he did to you. The fact that if you stopped and thought for two seconds about the decision you might have seen what I saw. But I would feel better about it if you, at least, learned your lesson from it and started showing some discernment, but oh no, that's too much like right for you. Here you go again doing the same thing with Bobby."

"My relationship with Bobby is completely different. You'd know that if you knew anything about him or our relationship."

"I didn't need to, I saw where this was going as soon as I saw the two of you together. That same doe eyed look in your eyes. He had you right where he wanted you."

"It's called happiness mom. Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm happy?" She said, completely exasperated.

"Sure you are. Now," Beatrice sighed, "I'm not blind to the way the world works and I know you aren't either, I raised you better than that. It may not be the 60s anymore and you May be living in California, but we all know what happens when these relationships are entered into, especially for black women. Don't tell me the two of you haven't gotten any looks, stares, or snide comments thrown your way."

Athena silently bit her bottom lip.

"Exactly. If you noticed it, I know that he has, too. What happens when he no longer wants to deal with that tax of being with a black woman and wants something, someone, easier?"

"We don't care what people think and we don't let it bother us. I've dealt with racist people and derogatory comments before him and deal with it outside of him." She purposefully ignored her last question, not even trying to dignify that with a response.

"So why would want to invite more of that into your life unnecessarily? Because you love him? Can't you see he's using you, Athena?"

"And there it is."

"Yes, here it is. My main issue with him is that he's using you and your children to replace what he lost. Like I've said before, I feel for his situation, I do, but he doesn't get to do that, not to you and not to those kids. The fact that you're letting him is heart breaking. Got him swooping in, letting him play daddy to those kids. He's going to get over this game he's playing and, when he does, where does that leave you, those kids?" the sneer in her voice was evident.

"Mom, will you stop? Why are you doing this?"

"I'm doing this because I want you to get your head out of the clouds and see reason. I'm doing this because I'm not going to stand idly by and watch my daughter get hurt again," she stepped closer to her daughter and tilted her face up towards her, "contrary to popular belief, I love you, babygirl. I'm always going to protect you,"

Athena took her mother's hand away from her face, "I love you, too, mom, but what you think is protection ain't it. You're not protecting me, you're picking apart my life choices and telling me everywhere you think I went- I'm going- wrong again. This is my life to live," she shook her head and walked off. As soon as she got to the kitchen entryway, stopping, and without turning around she said, "and if Bobby's a mistake, he's one I'm damn glad to be making," she kept walking.

When she got down the hall to her old childhood bedroom, she all but slammed the door and let out a yell. She flopped down on the bed and put her head in her hands. She was more than drained emotionally from that conversation, as was the norm with drawn out conversations with her mother. She felt the weight of the bed dip and a strong arm coming around her shoulder. She dropped her arms and looked up to see Bobby next to her. Silently she wrapped her arms around him and laid his head on his shoulder.

"You heard that." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I was coming downstairs to head outside with the kids when I heard you two talking."

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I knew how she felt about me when we came here. I'm here because you and the kids wanted me to be and Samuel invited me. My only concern is that she's upset you."

She got up and started to pace. "And I hate that! I know how she is, been this way all my life. I know I shouldn't let her get under her skin. I'm just so fucking tired of her trying to control me."

"The people you love get under your skin the most, especially parents."

"Hmm," she stopped in front of him and folded her arms, "I just wish that she would, at least, try to see what I see, especially with you."

"I'll admit, I don't particularly like being a source of tension between the two of you-"

"Bobby-"

"It's fine, I know it's true. I know she sees me as a threat to you, sees me as someone who's going to hurt you," he grabbed her arms and pulled her into him, "do you believe that I'm going to hurt you?"

"Of course not."

"Then, that's all I need. As long as you understand that I'm very well aware of everything, that I see it, see you, what you go through, it's all good. I know that the world is different for us, a lot of the things you go through, I won't. I may not understand or like that the world we live in is terrible, but you know that I care. You can tell me and we can talk about anything, everything."

"I know that, I know I can. You know I'm quick to rant to you about that stuff that makes me mad. We talk about it and let it go. People's opinions are just that, opinions."

"Exactly. I've never cared what people thought of our relationship. It's going take to a whole hell lot more than a couple of mad people for me to give up being married to one of the wonderful women in the world."

"Oh, really? Sure you don't want someone easier for you to be with?"

"I don't want easy, I want you."

"So you saying I'm difficult?"

"Well..." she glared at him, "anyway, what I'm getting at is that you're stuck with me," he lifted her hand and ran his thumb along her engagement ring, "this was my promise to you," he ran his thumb along the wedding band above it, "and this was my vow that you have me through it all."

"You have me, too. I may have my doubts about a lot things, but us has never been one of them."

"Good," he looked her directly in the eyes," And I just have to say this because it keeps coming up and I want to make it very understood: I have not, I am not, I will not ever use you, May, and Harry to replace Marcy, Brooke, and BJ. I love all three of you. I have no desires to replace Michael in any capacity. I do want May and Harry to love and respect we as their step-parent, but that's all it is."

"You know that I know that and they know that. Michael and I talk about, all the time, how much we love how you are with them. You know the kids see you as their step parent and refer to you as that.

"I know. It just bared a little repeating. I love you, Athena. Whether or not your mother chooses to like me is on her. That's not going to stop me from being in her daughter's life until she, and I do mean her daughter, says otherwise."

"Yeah, no, that's never happening. You're kind of stuck with me."

_22.__** V**__alue everything you share..._

There was a certain type of intimacy in domesticity.

They were grocery shopping, asking the other what they wanted, discussing what the kids would want. When they got home they cooked dinner, well, more like he cooked and she "supervised", but, still, they were both in the kitchen just talking and spending time together. It had become commonplace for them to do this when they could. In their, often unpredictable, lives having something simple and secure meant a lot to them.

_23\. __**W**__ish on stars together..._

Her eyes stared at the ceiling as she laid on the floor of the partially finished nursery. She admired the starred wallpaper that they'd finish putting up this morning. She closed her eyes and her hand ran lazy circles over her stomach. Only 2 more months left to go.

"This was as far as you got wasn't it?" She heard his footsteps coming into the room. She opened her eyes to see him stranding above her.

"Yep."

"You're not getting up." It wasn't a question.

"Nope."

He laid down next to her and reached over to put his hand over her stomach. Their eyes met and they smiled at the small kicks they felt at the action. She covered his hand with hers and they laid there in comfortable silence.

"I still can't believe we're doing this," he told her.

"Um, we? Last time I checked-"

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know. On the list of things I thought would happen after we got married, this was nowhere on it."

"Far beyond what I could have even wished for, but I'm happy it's happening."

"Yeah, me too."

_24\. __**X**__-press your true feelings..._

It was two in the morning when his eyes popped open. He knew why, instantly. He could never sleep when she was lost in deep in her late night thoughts. "Alexa, turn on the lights." As soon as the room light turned on he sat up, leaning against the headboard beside her.

She looked over at him, "really?"

"You really are not aware of how loudly you think, are you?" He lifted his arm and indicated for her to scoot towards him. She did so and he brought his arm around her. "Still having doubts?"

"The conversation we had with Harry still has me thinking that this really is all too much, too fast. It almost feels like I'm doing an entire 360 with my life. Getting ready for these babies and the move are enough. Should I really add a career change to the list?"

"Do you want to do it?" Bobby asked her.

"Well, there's more money involved and the hours are-"

"That's not what I'm asking," Bobby interrupted, "I know you've weighed the pros and cons, thought about how it would affect the family, you wouldn't be you if you hadn't," she gave him a look, "what I want to know is what you want. On the surface, letting go of all the factors that are currently at play, do you want to do this?"

She looked up at him, he saw maybe a dozen different emotion flash across her face before she, "yes, I think I do."

"Then, I think you should. The rest of this will work itself out. We'll make it work," he said as he kissed her forehead, "besides, it won't really be a career change, you've been playing detective since I've known you."

"That's the same thing Elaine said. Told me that I've been basically doing it all of my career, all the cases that have been solved and reopened because my inability to leave well enough alone. So the only thing that would really change is my title and credentials."

"See. Do you how many times you called me, before we even got together, strong-arming me into a hunch you had."

"That was your fault. No one told you to agree with me and go along with it. Hell, you were more than willing to yourself."

"I know and I don't regret a single second of it," he smiled down at her, "I've always been in your corner, always will be, no matter the decision."

"You're really good to me, you know that?"

"You've told me once or twice." He said leaning his face up to peck her lips. "So, are you okay enough to turn off that brain of yours and let me get some sleep?"

"Yeah, I've decided to tell her to put my name down to take the exam."

"Great-"

"But, I don't think I really want to sleep, at least, not right now."

She fell into a fit of laughter as he had her on her back within seconds. He settled above her, making sure not too much of his weight was on her.

"Alexa, cut the lights."

_25\. __**Y**__earn for each other..._

Athena turned over in the hotel bed, scrubbing a hand across the sheets, knowing she wasn't going to find the warmth that she'd become accustomed to. She sighed, head aching from how tired and jet lagged she was, but finding it difficult to go to sleep. She turned back towards the night stand. The clock on the table read 12:22 am. She thought for a moment, it was only nine pm in L.A., so he should still be awake. She got her phone and FaceTimed him.

"Your kids are still alive, Athena." Bobby said as his face appeared on screen.

"Not why I called, but I'm glad," she said as she got comfortable.

"Mhmm. It's pretty late there shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Come join, me and I might be able to."

"Aww, it's almost sounds like you miss me or something."

"I might. But how was your day, though. How was your first day as a single father."

He sighed audibly. "Fantastic. I only almost stood on the fountain in the middle of the park and ask if anyone wanted some kids."

"I wish you would have," the threat was only thinly veiled. "It couldn't have been that bad."

"You say that. All I know is: they don't act like that when you're around."

"Yeah, because they know better. It's your fault, you let them get away with everything."

"Sure. Blame me. After you've made sure that they were as cute as possible with your eyes and smile. Made them completely impossible to say no to. Sure, it's my fault."

"They just started talking a month ago, how convincing can they be?"

"Not the point. You know I-" he paused and she saw his eyes drift to something off screen, "well, hi," he flipped the camera for her to see Ayesha toddling into the room, "if you're here that means..." Amelia walked into the room next, "yep."

"I thought that you put them to bed?"

"I thought I did, too." She saw both of the 16 month olds walk towards their father. He put the phone down for a second. When he picked it up again, he turned the camera back to front-facing, seeing the girls sitting on Bobby's lap, "look guys, it's mommy."

The following squeals of "mama" she heard made her miss being at home so much more. "My sweet girls, mama misses you so much."

They spent the next hour like that, the four of them just talking amongst themselves. When asked anything, the girls would babble about their day and carry on a full conversation. She and Bobby loved moments like these. It wasn't long before she felt herself getting sleepy.

"It's getting late, you should go to sleep," Bobby told her.

"Yeah, you're probably right," she yawned.

"Alright girls, say bye bye to mama," they attempted to do as they were told, "say I love you and miss you and can't wait for you to come home."

"I love you. Take care of my kids, Bobby."

"No promises. Goodnight, talk to you later. I love you, too," the girls were now attempting to climb on him and get him to play, "counting down the days until you return."

Their faces disappeared back into her home screen. She put her phone on the night stand and settled into the bed, finally able to get some sleep.

_26\. __**Z**__zzz in each other's arms..._

The weight of the bed dipped as Athena climbed in behind him. Bobby was on his side, facing the window. He turned his body towards her. She was settling into the pillows, already half asleep, when Bobby pulled her into him. She settled into the embrace.

"Did I wake you?" She asked, voice sleepy.

"It's fine," he said as he tightened the arm he had around her waist, "we haven't seen each other today, anyway," he kissed her forehead.

"I know. I hate not being on patrol anymore, at least we were able to see each other more."

"It's all for the greater good, detective," he enjoyed calling her that way too much, "you're here with me now, that's all that matters. We always come home to each other, right?"

"Always," she said before they both drifted to get as much sleep as they could.

* * *

***comes out of hiding***

**What did you think? Which ones were your favorites? Tell me all the things! Fun Fact: the heavier ones (you know the ones I'm talking about) were based on true stories.**


	2. Life Begins with Strength & Resilience

**This is long as all fuck. That's all I'm going to say...**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Summary: ****"The sharp pain that tore through her brought her to her knees. She'd realized that she left her cellphone in the kitchen and she couldn't get it. "Please god, no," she begged as the fear gripped her. She felt faint and weak, could barely keep her eyes open. She was in so much pain, could feel the blood, the energy draining for her body. The last thing she felt was cool hardwood floor against her face as the world went black.**

* * *

Athena moved slowly down the stairs of their home. Her back was killing her, but bed rest was starting to take it's toll. She had to move, well, as much as her 33 week pregnant body would let her anyway.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Her husband asked as soon as her foot hit the living room floor.

"Don't worry, I don't think the 10 feet I walked did too much damage," Athena said sarcastically as walked into the kitchen.

"Athena." Seeing the worry in his eyes, her face softened. She knew he was only this annoying because he was worried about her.

She waddled her way over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning up on the tips of her toes to kiss him on the cheek. "I know you worry about me, about us, but I'm fine."

"Are you?" His skepticism was warranted, he knew she wouldn't be completely honest with him, thinking she was protecting him. "Because if you're not..."

"I know, I know," she pecked his lips twice, "but I really am fine. This isn't my first time at the rodeo, it's nothing that I can't handle."

"It's your first time being pregnant with twins, though." He said as he smiled down at her.

"And I've been handling it pretty well." And she had, besides a little hiccups and scares, she felt she'd been handling everything pretty well. Listening to the doctor, doing as she was told.

"I have to admit you are taking the bed rest thing a lot better than I thought you would." Bobby said as she let him go and moved into the kitchen to find something to eat. It had been a month since she'd been officially told that she would have to spend the rest of her pregnancy on bed rest.

Athena grumbled and rolled her eyes, "you know me, but it's for the babies."

"It's for the babies." He reached down and kissed her on the forehead. She knew he hated having to leave.

She met his eyes, "don't look at me like that, leave, you'll be home to annoy the hell out of me soon enough."

"You know you miss me when I'm gone."

She absolutely does. "You wish."

The exaggerated pout on his face was almost cute. "I love you," He kissed her once more before leaning down to her belly, "alright girls, be good for your mommy, don't cause her too much trouble, but let her know if she's doing too much," as he put his hand there, she felt the little kicks of movement that were a little painful, but nothing she was going to say anything about. Plus she loved when Bobby bonded with the girls and the little movements she felt when he touched her. She could already tell she had a couple of "daddy's girls" on her hands and she couldn't wait.

"Would you stop encouraging them and leave. Before you're later than you already are."

"Alright, alright. Fine." Grabbing his bag off the edge of the kitchen counter, Bobby walked towards the door and out of it. Athena came behind him and waited until he got out of the driveway before closing the door.

"Okay, girls," Athena placed a hand over her stomach as she turned and looked towards the living room, "let's get something to eat." She felt light flutters or movement under her fingers, "I knew you'd like that."

Athena made her way to the kitchen where she'd made herself a light breakfast. Afterwards, she went to work unpacking boxes and putting stuff in order, making sure she wasn't lifting, bending or reaching too much. A couple of hours in she felt a sharp pain slice through her stomach into her back. She immediately stopped what she was doing and sat thinking that her body was telling her that she was overexerting herself.

She tried putting her feet up and getting comfortable on the couch, but even that was proving to difficult. She got up and walked a bit, super uncomfortable, but used to the discomfort at this point. The babies were settled at the moment which she was thankful for, knowing that kicking wouldn't help the situation. As she went to sit down again the action made her dizzy.

This was quickly turning into a nightmare. The pain was only getting worse, she was nauseous and dizzier. She hoped and prayed that the pain would subside, but it wasn't happening. She felt the blood before she saw it. She got up from the couch again to find that their was a significant blood stain where she sat. She looked down at the shorts she was wearing and she saw it. The room and was continuing to spin and dim as she willed herself not to freak out.

She needed help. She needed to call someone. She needed...

The sharp pain that tore through her brought her to her knees. She'd realized that she left her cellphone in the kitchen and she couldn't get it. "Please god, no," she begged as the fear gripped her. She felt faint and weak, could barely keep her eyes open. She was in so much pain, could feel the blood, the energy draining for her body. The last thing she felt was cool hardwood floor against her face as the world went black.

XXXXX

They had a little bit of down time today as they sat around and joked. Hen looked around at her team, thinking about the changes that were about to take place. Her eyes landed on Bobby. There'd been a glow to him since he found out about Athena's pregnancy and she couldn't be happier for him.

"I'm just saying that you could have chosen me to be captain again while you're gone." Chimney's statement was met with unanimous groans of disapproval.

"If that happened I'd go out on leave too until Bobby came back," Eddie halfway joked. The response was a balled up napkin thrown in his face.

"Uh, as much as I don't doubt your captaining skills and as good a job you did last time, I just felt Hen was the best choice this time around to replace me," Bobby chimed in as he put a hand on Hen's shoulder.

Before Hen could respond she felt he phone vibrating in her pocket. She fished the device out of her pocket to see Buck's name and the picture they'd taken last Christmas.

"You know you having a day of means that I get a day off from you too, right?" Hen joked as she answered the call.

"Hen is Bobby near you or do you have me on speaker?" Buck's tone was near frantic. Hen's face fell into a frown, she also could have sworn she heard sirens in the background.

"Yes and no," Hen thought it best to answer his questions as simply as she could until she found out more about what was going on. "Hold on." She excused herself from the table in the loft and made her way outside until she was completely out of earshot of everyone else. "Okay, Buck, I'm here. What's going on? Are those sirens."

"Hen, it's Athena," her heart dropped into her stomach, "I- I, uh, went by the house to have lunch with her," Buck's pause was freaking her out more, "that's when I found her. She was passed out in the living room. There was- there was a lot of blood. I call EMS and had them dispatched over, I made sure you guys wouldn't be alerted. I'm in the ambulance with her on the way to the hospital," She could tell that Buck was in tears as he tried to tell her what was going on.

"How is she and the babies?"

"She's still unconscious, they're worried about the babies, possible placental abruption. Hold on," Hen could hear Buck talking to the EMTs, but couldn't make out exactly what was being said, "we're pulling into the hospital, can you, uh, can you let Bobby know I was gonna- I can't-"

"Buck, Buck, don't worry about it. I got him. Just stay with Athena as much as you can. Call me if anything changes before we get there."

"Yeah, thanks, okay." The call ended. Ben took a few calming breaths before going back inside.

She raced upstairs. Before anyone could speak, "Bobby." She thought it best to explain what was going on in front of everyone instead of pulling him to the side. Seeing the look on Bobby's face almost broke her as she relayed what Buck told her.

Time passed in the blur from that point forward.

They'd left a skeleton crew in charge as she, Bobby, Eddie, and Chimney went to the hospital. As they drove, Hen knew there was going was bound to be some fallout from the breaks in protocol: leaving without notice, using a fire truck with sirens for personal use, but she didn't care. She gladly deal with whatever she needed to following this and she knew everyone else felt the same.

Bobby had been silent, eerily so, since she'd told him. She had no idea what was truly going through his mind, but it couldn't have been good. She wanted to say something, offer some words of encouragement, but everything felt stale and generic, so thought it best to not say anything. She, instead, settled on taking one of her hands off the wheel and placed on his. She could feel him shaking under her fingertips. He didn't look her or return the gesture in anyway, but he knew she was there for him. That's all she wanted.

Hen knew her parking was all sorts of illegal, but she'd work that out later. All of them jumped out of the truck, making their way up to the maternity ward on the third floor. As soon as the elevator doors opened they saw Buck. Hen, Eddie, and Chim went towards Buck, while Boby went towards the nurse's station to find out what was going on.

"Oh my god, I've never been more happy to see you guys." Buck exclaimed as soon they made eye contact. Buck rose from his seat and Hen was going to hug him, but stopped at the sight of blood on his arms and clothing. Buck followed her line of sight, "oh, uh, yeah. When I was trying to find where the blood was coming from and when I helped lift her body on to the stretcher." She pulled him in for a hug anyway.

As soon as she let him go Eddie asked, "were you able to find out anything else?"

"All I know is she needed an emergency c-section. Not much else."

Looking back towards Bobby, he was now talking to a woman that Hen recognized as Athena's OBGYN. The doctor's name was eluding her, but she remembered her from an appointment she'd attended with Athena couple of months ago. Her ears focus in on the conversation. "Due to the nature of the situation we can't allow you to be with her. You'll know more when I do. We'll do everything we can" she heard the doctor say

"Wait. If it comes down to it," he pauses, "save the- save the babies, it's what she would want." Hen's breath caught in her throat.

_Athena placed the cup of tea in front of her. As sat down in the patio chair across from hers._

"_I'm going to miss this place when you move." Hen said as she looked around the home she'd come to know almost as well as her own. Looking back inside the home, there was nothing around, save for boxes and the little bit of furniture that was needed for the next few days._

_She sighs, "so am I. This place has been my home so long, I raised my first two babies here. But we needed more space," Athena rubbed her stomach lovingly, "it was also time that Bobby and I got something that was ours, you know."_

"_How are the kids adjusting to well, everything?"_

"_They're fine with it. May's just May, going with the flow of things. Harry's more excited than anything because his best friend lives down the street-" she paused and her hand flew to her stomach._

"_You okay?" Hen ready to jump up if needed._

"_Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." She said as she settled._

"_Do you need me to call Bobby."_

"_No, no, absolutely not. I'm fine, there's no need to worry him. The babies moving can be painful sometimes, it's nothing that I can't handle, that I won't handle."_

_The ominous way Athena said that last sentence bothered Hen. "Athena... is there something I need to know?"_

_Athena looked up at, almost like she contemplating telling her before she said, "just that if anything happens to me, please take care of Bobby."_

_Hen choked on the tea she tried to drink. Of all the things she expected Athena to tell her... "what do you mean take care of... are you... is this..."_

"_It's no secret that this pregnancy is high risk for all the obvious reasons. And there have been complications since practically the beginning. I've been told of the threats this could have on my life," she sighed as as fresh tears rolled down her checks, "we aren't Buck's age, an accidental pregnancy doesn't just happen at our age. This has to mean something, it has to. And I don't want to give up on that even it means... look, I'm saying that I know for certain that I'm not gonna be around or anything. I'm gonna fight like hell to be. I wanna be, more than. But, if I comes down to it, I just want to know that someone is gonna be looking out for Bobby and the kids, not allowing him to collapse in on himself. I trust you more than anyone. And I trust you to keep this conversation between us."_

_Hen was stunned at what she'd just heard. The possibility of losing her best friend was a lot. She could ask her what she specifically meant, what she knew, what the doctors told her, but she didn't. So she said the only thing that felt right, "I got them, Athena, you know I do."_

_Athena wiped her eyes and offered a simple, "thank you."_

"We'll do all we can for both of them." The doctor finished as she ran towards the OR.

Looking back behind everyone else behind her, she could see they'd heard it too. As Bobby walked towards them she was able to really look at him. It been a long time since she'd seen the light so drained from his eyes. Bobby looked towards them, before he kept walking down the hall. Buck went to follow him before Hen stopped him, volunteering to go herself and telling them to wait there. Buck reluctantly agreed. Hen had a good idea where he was headed before she went after him.

_I got him, Athena_, she thought to herself.

_I got him._

XXXXX

When Bobby reached the chapel, he was thankful that there was no one there but him. He sat down in one of the chairs and immediately just started praying. Praying for the health of his children and his wife. The praying quickly dissolved into practically begging God not to take them, any of them, to the point where she was bargaining his life for theirs. He thought what he could have possibly done to deserve what was happening, but those thoughts left his mind, hearing Athena's voice in his mind telling him not to think that way. His thoughts changed to Athena and their life together. One particular memory stood out.

_Bobby and Athena walked, hand in hand, through the park. The view was scenic as the setting sun cast a pinkish orange glow over the park. Athena had a craving for ice cream, which he happily obliged._

"_Are my girls happy now?"_

"_Yes. We are." Athena answered between licks of her strawberry, Oreo, chocolate cone. He smiled as he licked his own salted caramel cone._

_They walked a little further before Athena stopped him at the fountain. "Need a rest?" She nodded as they sat on the fountain, giving them a perfect view. She giggled a little before bringing his hand to her stomach, allowing him to feel the little kicks under his fingers. "Woah, someone's active."_

"_Yes and it's just this one. Her sister is just as chill as she can be. I feel her kick, but she's nowhere near as active as her sister," Athena commented._

"_Well we know which one we're naming her." He and Athena has finally come to a decision on names about a month prior._

"_And when they come this one will definitely be your baby, she obviously gets this from you."_

_Bobby playfully scoffed, "um, I think that she definitely gets this from you." Bobby could feel her finally beginning to settle. He met Athena's eyes, "you know, I still can't believe this is happening."_

"_Neither can I," He saw the look in her eyes shift to something more serious and he felt the mood change, it was no longer light and airy, "Bobby I need you to promise me something."_

_The smile on his face dropped. "Anything," he was almost reluctant to say._

"_If it comes down to it, not saying that it will or won't, not wanting to put that out there, but if it does, please choose them."_

"_At first Bobby was a bit confused at what Athena meant, but he soon he realized and he could feel himself closing off, "Athena, no." He let go of her hand and rose from the fountain's edge._

"_Bobby, please."_

"_No. Athena. No, I'm not going to choose." I wasn't the first time that Athena had brought up the possibility of her not making it through the birth. He knew and understood the risks. He knew there were complications and she'd been put on bed rest through the rest of her pregnancy. He could feel Athena had been hiding something from, he never would have guessed it was the fear that she might not make it. "Athena why are you asking me this? Is there something I don't know that you wanna tell me?"_

_He looked back towards her to find her pulling her lip in between her teeth, "no, you know everything. I just want to take comfort in the fact that if something were to happen, if something were to go wrong that you'd let them know to not worry about me and save the babies."_

_She was near tears now and so was he. Bobby wasn't completely convinced that she wasn't keeping something from him, the real reason for her fear and this conversation, but he knew better than to push. Maybe it was just her anxiety making her think like this. He made himself trust that it was truly something life or death that she would have told him. It still didn't make this conversation any easier. Having the choose between his wife and their children was not a hypothetical scenario that was sitting well with him._

"_Please don't make me choose," he said as he sat next to her and scrubbed a hand over his face._

"_Bobby, please." The watery catch in her voice nearly broke him._

_He swallowed around the lump in his throat, not wanting to say the words he was about to, "okay, Athena, okay. If and only if it absolutely comes down to it, I will let them know. But it won't come to that. You're going to have a successful full term pregnancy and we're going to have two happy, healthy little girls driving us nuts for the next 18 years." He pulled her into him and kissed her temple, trying desperately to get back to light mold they'd originally had._

"_Thank you Bobby." Athena told as she nuzzled into his shoulder comfortably._

As the memory faded back into the obscure recesses of his mind, he felt the moisture on his face a from the fresh wave of tears. He felt he was no longer alone and knew exactly who was behind.

"You know," his voice raw as he tried to talk around the heavy emotion, "when I found out that Athena was pregnant I thought it was my penance, God forgiving me for everything that I'd done, giving me a second chance to do things right," He took a deep breath willing himself not to break down as Hen sat next to him, "I know that you're not supposed to question these things, but I want to. Want to know why this is happening," the last shred of his resolve broke and the dam just burst, "I can't loose, Hen, I can't loose her," he could feel Hen wrapping her arms around him as the deep sobs wracked his body.

Hen whispered words of encouragement to him as she let him get all of the emotion. He didn't know how long he'd sat there and just let everything go, but by the time he felt his body calming, he couldn't cry anymore. With all the things he was currently feeling, he noticed he felt better. Hen nudged him and handed him some tissues, which he gladly took.

"You and I both know how stubborn your wife is, she'll be fine. God knows better," Hen joked lightly.

His lips curved up into a small smile, "don't I know it."

"And so will those kids, the fire fam will have two more babies for us to spoil rotten. Well, more than we already have." He hadn't really thought about it. After today, he'd officially be on paternity leave.

"Make sure the kids don't burn the place down while I'm gone."

"You got it, cap." She patted his knee before rising to leave him alone once more.

He spent a few more minutes in the chapel, saying a couple more prayers before rising to leave. He walked through the halls towards the waiting room, the walls a little too white, the lights a little too bright as his eyes adjusted to change of scenery again. His ears hyper focus on the ticking clock on the opposite wall, the monotonous ticking torturous, yet, oddly grounding. He didn't want to look at it, didn't want to be reminded of just how long it's been since... this all began. He sits continuing to wait.

_Tick tock. Tick tock._

"You shouldn't go to him like this. It's probably best if you go home and change."

"No I... yeah, you're, uh, you're probably right."

"It do you some good to get out of here for a minute. I'll take you back to my place it's closer, after I drop the truck back at the station, of course."

"I want... I don't wanna... can you tell him I'll be back soon."

"Sure."

His brain was monetarily distracted from the ticking, catching bits and pieces of the conversation between Hen, Buck, and Eddie. Not wanting to linger, it zoned back in on the ticking, protecting itself from being reminded of why he's here. He sighed audibly as he rubs his tired, sore, eyes. He felt the residual moisture from tears he's not able to cry anymore.

_Tick tock. Tick tock._

"He's doing as well as can be expected."

"Yeah, she's still in surgery. Nothing yet. How far are you guys?"

Knowing Hen's footsteps behind him, he isn't startled when he feels her hand on his shoulder. She says nothing. The touch lasting just long enough for his hand to cover hers, giving a gentle squeeze. The action was followed by two pats and she walked further down the hall to continue her conversation. She knows who she's talking to and he takes a moment to zero in on his guilt. He knows he should be the one to talk to Michael and the kids, telling them what's going on. They deserve to hear it from him. But he just can't do it. Not right now. He sips at the coffee that Maddie and Chimney brought him.

_Tick Tock. Tick tock._

He's still not aware of how much time has passed, still not wanting to look at the clock. It feel like days, though. He was at the point where he just wanted to know something, know if his wife and daughters were okay... or if they weren't. He's gone through the motions, cycled through the inevitabilities and worst case scenarios, even the ones he didn't want to think about. He just needed to know something. Though, he wasn't looking at them and no one was speaking, he knew everyone felt the same way. A thick tension had permeated the air and he was ready for this entire nightmare to end.

"Mr. Nash?" Bobby's body rose out the chair at the sound of his name, before his brain fully caught up. He spotted the surgeon walking towards him As she removed her head cover and mask, her expression remained neutral, heightening his racing heart beat. As she stopped in front of him, her lips curved into a small smile. "Good news first, all three of them made it. You have two 4 lb, 2 oz baby girls. We're monitoring them closely and they'll have to stay in the NICU for a while, but the odds are looking good."

Bobby released an audible sigh of relief. The anxiety of the situation mixed with the overwhelming excited of his daughters almost made him light headed. Buck's hands clapped on the shoulders and he heard the happiness around him, but he couldn't bring himself to fully celebrate, not yet... "I'm scared what the bad news is."

Her smile faltered and he feared the worst. He balled his right hand tightly into a fist at his side to stop the shaking. "Things were a little touch and go, for a moment and she lost a lot of blood," Bobby felt the tightness in his chest, "and, honestly, she coded shortly after we took the babies. All the stress the pregnancy had caused her body finally caught up to her. We were able to get her back, and finish the surgery successfully without any further complications. She should wake when the anesthesia wears off. "

Bobby couldn't say anything. His mind was a roller coaster of emotions, but he maintained careful control of his composure. All of his girls were alive, he'd just focus on that. God answered his prayers.

The rest they'd get through.

XXXXX

Though he was told he'd have to wait before he could see Athena, he was allowed to visit his daughters. As she walked him down towards the NICU, he was given more information about his wife and daughters. It was a placental abruption that caused the distress. During surgery Athena's and the babies' heart rates had dropped to unstable levels. As soon as they were able to get the get girls out she started hemorrhaging and that's when things down hill even further. They ended up having to completely remove her uterus, but they stopped the bleeding and were able to stabilize her. The girls weren't able to breath on their own fully and had to be put on respirator for the time being. And there was also the risk of infection and problems with body temp to be on the look out for. Other than monitoring their weight and ability to feed there weren't any other complications that were a cause for concern at the moment. Hopefully there wouldn't be anymore causes for concern in the future.

As they walked through the double doors, he was met with a sizable room, just as bright and white as the previous one. There were incubators and chairs sectioned off in the room, looking to offer privacy to the individual families. His eyes landed on a nurse taking off her gloves and walking over to them.

"Calliope, this is Bobby, the father of our two newest NICU patients." Dr. Sellers introduced.

"Nice to meet you," she stuck out her hand towards him, Bobby returned the gesture, "don't worry, doc, I'll take care of him."

"I know you will," she turned towards Bobby, "I'll be back to let you more about Athena."

"Okay," he acknowledged she walked back towards the doors.

Calliope fit him with a bracelet with his daughters' date of birth and Athena's name on it. "Just a safety precaution, so we can keep track of who's on the maternity ward. Also lets you be able to visit the babies anytime you want. Alright all set, ready to met your little ones?"

"Yes, of course."

He was lead further into the room, around the corner. The nurse stopped at two incubators with a bit of space between them and a cushioned chair towards the outer side. He saw "Baby A Nash" and "Baby B Nash" written on the outside of each one. He stepped a bit closer to see two tiny babies almost covered with an array of wires. He couldn't be more enthralled and in love if he tried.

"I've got paperwork, so I'll give you sometime alone to get acquainted. We can't allow holding just yet, but you can definitely interact with them through the holes in the sides. Be back to check on them in a bit." He thinks he made a noise of acknowledgement, but he was certain, still caught up in the sight.

His feet carried him in between the two incubators. He saw that one of his daughters was awake while the other was sleeping. Letting the other sleep, he bent down and stuck his arm through the open hole, rubbing his thumb the soft skin of her hand. He marveled at how much she looked like her mother, from her eyes, her nose, her face shape. He looked over towards his other daughter and noticed the same defining features, though he couldn't see her eyes yet he imagined they'd be the same shade of brown as her sister's. He already knew which one was going to be named the names they'd chosen, but he'd wait until Athena could meet them before he said anything.

"Boy, my genes weren't even trying with you guys, were they?" He smiled as she moved a bit, her little fist trying to wrap around his thumb. "Your mom will be down to see you guys soon, she just needs a bit more time before she's ready."

He turned his attention to his other daughter, sticking his other arm through the hole in the side of incubator to cradle her. "I love both of you, so so much."

He took time to bound with his girls, taking pictures and sending them to everyone. He had to be in there for a good couple of hours, only moving away from them so the nurse could check on them. Dr. Sellers had returned to tell him that he was able to see Athena. Calliope told him that that he could visit anytime, but not between 6:30 pm to 7:30 pm and 6:30 am to 7:30 am to allow shift changing. He nodded, letting her know that he'd back.

He walked toward the Recovery Room not far from the NICU and walked into the room number he was given, making sure his bracelet was visible to passing medical staff. He paused to take a deep breath as he entered her room. She was so still as he spotted her lying the bed. He zeroed on the rise and fall of her chest and the beeping monitors as he sat in the chair next to her bed.

"Can you believe we're parents to newborns because I can't," he started, "they are so beautiful, you did so well, babe. I say you because they don't look a thing like me. I told you they wouldn't. Michael and the kids are on the way, finally getting a flight back here. I know you're going to love those babies as soon as you see them. I know I do. I can't wait for you to wake up and meet them." He grabbed her hand, the one not attached to the IVs, kissing her fingers.

XXXXX

The bright lights hurt as she opened her eyes, causing them to close them again until they adjusted. The taste in her mouth was bitter, her throat dry and sore. Her entire body was sore as she became more self aware. As the seconds passed the pain worsened. The room spun as she tired to open her eyes a second time. As her eyes centered she took in the unfamiliar surroundings. She saw the IV pole to her left and figured she was attached to it as she tried to move her left arm. She took the oxygen mask off her face finding it uncomfortable. She looked to her right finding nothing there except a cellphone. She recognized the familiar case, knowing the phone belonged to her husband. She'd figured out she was in the hospital, but couldn't remember why at the moment.

When she tried to sit up, a pain so sharp shot through her abdomen that she regretted even attempting the action. Putting a hand to her stomach, she noticed it was significantly flatter than she remembered and there was stitching. How long had she been out? What happened? Where were her babies? She wracked her brain, but she was coming up empty. Her mind was a hazy mess that was making it hard to remember much of anything.

"Looks like we came back just in time, welcome back Mrs. Nash. Let me get doctor Sellers."

"Athena!"

She looked towards the door to see her husband and nurse she didn't recognize at the door. As the nurse went the opposite direction, Bobby came closer to her. "What happened?" She groaned out around her aching throat.

"Do you remember anything?" She shook her head in lieu of talking. "You had to go in for an emergency c-section."

Athena's eyes widened in fear, "the babies?"

"In the NICU. They are doing okay. They'll be here for a while, but they're okay. Look just like you."

"I knew they would," Athena smiled, "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, this isn't your fault and I don't want you thinking that it is."

Before she could speak further, the doctor and nurse came back and started fussing over and asking her questions about how she was feeling. She was given some water to help soothe her throat. Some blanks were filled in about what happened during her surgery. She had never been more horrified and relieved in her life. Knowing how close she had come to not making it, god, it tore her apart and she could tell it was just as hard for Bobby. She could only imagine what he'd been through for the last few hours.

The worst part was trying to move. Even trying to sit up a little bit made her feel like her stitches were being ripped out one by one. Any type of jostling movement shot pain throughout her body. Not being able to move much meant that it would be another day or, possibly two, before she was able to go down to the NICU. Athena understood, but she desperately wanted to see her babies. But she settled for the pictures Bobby had of them, falling completely in love with them all over again.

It was three days. Three days before the effects of the anesthesia wore off and the pain subsided to a point where she could move a bit more without feeling like she was being stabbed. It still hurt like shit, but she'd bare through it if it meant she'd finally be able to spend sometime with her daughters. In that time she been moved out of recovery to a room in the maternity ward. Michael, May, and Harry made it back to California from New York, spending most of the time at the hospital with them.

"Hey, your mom just called and told me they should be in California by this afternoon," Bobby said as he reentered her rooms.

Athena hummed in acknowledgement, "you're actually having conversations with her? It only took a life threatening situation and two more grandchildren for her to like you."

"You know it's still a strong toleration at best," Bobby commented before kissing her and flopping down in the chair next to her bed.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Knock, knock," Calliope greeted as she walked through the door with a wheelchair, "how are you guys doing this morning?"

"We're doing great," Athena answered.

"Fantastic. I got a question for you, Mrs. Nash. Are you ready to meet your babies?" Athena's eyes brightened and she would have jumped out of bed if doing so wouldn't have been the worse decision of her life.

"Yes."

Calliope and Bobby helped her out of bed and into the wheel chair. The trip to the NICU was thankfully short. As soon as she could see them she knew pictures didn't do them justice at all. She was sat comfortably in the chair next to the incubators. As soon as she was as comfortable as she could be, she saw Calliope opening the incubators and they babies were being placed in her arms. Shortly after, she excused herself to give them some time alone.

"Bobby."

"I told you."

"They are so beautiful and I have no idea what you're talking about because they do look like you."

"I have no idea what you're seeing, but I'll take your word for it." She noticed him taking pictures on his phone.

"Have you been calling them by their names?"

"I was waiting until you were here before anything was set in stone."

Athena looked at both her children, both awake, one looking up at her with big brown eyes, the other just nuzzled against her chest. "This one that's looking up at me is obviously Ayesha."

"Of course."

"And this is Amelia." She kissed both of her daughters and looked at her husband. He brought his lips to hers before she turned her attention back to her children. "Welcome to the world Ayesha Robin and Amelia Reign."

* * *

**You've made it to the end!**

**Ayesha means life. Robins signify renewals and new beginnings. Amelia signifies strength and easy going. Reign signifies resilience. Thanks for reading Life Begins Anew with Strength and Resilience: the Birth of Ayesha and Amelia. Please excuse any errors my tired brain missed. Also, as someone who has never given birth, is not a parent, and trying to tell a multi layered story in one chapter, I may have taken some (re: a lot) of creative liberties with this. I tried to keep this as realistic as possible though. If I made any egregious errors or got something way off base please let me know.**

**Let me know what you think!**


	3. Baby Bird

**I'm back with another one. Are we starving Bathena stans? Because I know I am.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Summary: ****"You told me not to worry because you knew how to handle it. That everything would always be okay even when it doesn't feel like it."**

* * *

"Have you seen the babies?" Athena asked as she took a bite of her husband's roast beef sandwich. She had just woken up from a well needed nap to that neither of the three-month olds were in the bassinets they'd kept in their bedroom or in the nursery. As she walked through the living room, she'd come to find, they weren't with Bobby either.

"Well let's examine this rationally. They didn't just get up and walk away..." Bobby responded, earning him a little smack to the back of the head.

"You just love being full of shit don't you?" Athena asked as she continued to take bites of the sandwich she was holding.

"You know you love me," Bobby said as he rose from the table and went into the kitchen to make him another sandwich, knowing that getting that one back was a lost cause. "I got them from our room soon after you'd fallen asleep. May and Harry came and got them about 20 minutes or so ago."

Athena nodded as she finished the last bite of the sandwich, wipe her hand and mouth and headed towards the stairs. "You're welcome," she heard Bobby half yell. She just rolled her eyes, without turning around, and kept walking towards the stairs.

As she climbed the stairs, Athena winced in pain a bit. She was thankful that the pain was finally starting to subside and no where near as bad as it was when she first came home. When she reach the top of the stairs she paused for a moment and sighed. She'd be glad when her body was completely healed and things like sitting, walking, and bending weren't total events anymore.

As she continued walking down the hall she got to Harry's room first. Not alerting him to her presence, she saw Esha propped up against a pillow being read to by her son. The scene was so endearing that she had the urge to take out her phone and film it, but she didn't want to take the risk of possibly disturbing their bonding moment. Esha was making little noises in response to the story her brother was telling her. There wouldn't be a day that went by that she wouldn't appreciate the close relationships developing between her oldest and youngest children.

A small smile graced her lips as she left them to them to their devices and kept walking towards the end of the hall where May's room was. The door was completely open and as she crept closer she found her babies in the middle of the floor surrounded by bags and boxes of May's packed things, looking at what appears to be an old photo album. She felt that familiar catch in her throat as she looked around still not believing that her oldest would be leaving in less than a month.

"I know you're there, mom," May said without looking up from the photos, Mila nestled contently against her thigh and arm.

"What are you girls up to?" Athena walked into the room, slowly sitting on the bed. May got her and Mila off the floor and sat next to her.

"I was just doing some more packing, when I came across this photo album. I forgot I even had it." Athena looked down at the page May had it open to, seeing photos of May when she was little, which did absolutely nothing for the emotion she was trying to hold back.

She took the photo album from her and sat in her lap. Picking up a photo, examining it further, as the memories associated with it floated through her mind. "Do you remember this?" Athena held up a picture of her, Michael, and both of their mothers with a four-year old May sitting in her lap.

May adjusted Mila more comfortably in her arms as she said, "not really. But I do remember the argument between Grandma Bea and Grandma Shay about who's potato salad was better." Athena chuckled along with May, remembering having the break up that argument.

Athena flipped through the album a bit more before asking, "what made you want to take a trip down memory lane?"

"I don't know." Athena noted the distant look in her daughter's eyes.

"Yeah you do."

May sighed, "I don't know, just seeing that made me realize I'm gonna miss you guys. With all that's happened this year, all the changes to the family, I've been thinking that maybe I shouldn't go across the country to college after all." May's voice quieted during that last part, but Athena heard her loud and clear.

Athena closed the album and placed it out of the way. She gave her daughter her full attention. "I know this comes from more than just looking at some old photos, so what's really going on?"

May, still not looking her in the eye, responded, "I've just been thinking a lot about everything that's happened with you, Esha, and Mila. I just think it'd be better if I were closer. That way I can come home and help out more."

"May, Spelman's your dream school. You were so excited when you got in." Athena said as she tried to make sense of her daughters drastic change of heart.

"Dreams change," May shrugged her shoulders, feigning nonchalant. Athena wasn't buying it for a second.

"No they don't, not yours anyway. You've been telling me about this school since you started high school." Athena eyed her daughter carefully gauging her reactions, she bit her lip before her expression changed to annoyance.

"Why are you pushing it mom, I thought you'd be happy that I wanted to go to USC or UCLA instead."

"I would be, if I felt that it was something that you wanted to do, and not something you think you have to," May went to speak, but Athena kept talking before she could, "Bobby and I have already had this discussion with both you and your brother. We love that we have you guys' help and support, but we're not obligating you to do any of it. Me and Bobby had these babies, they're our responsibility, not yours."

"It's not that simple, you almost died, mom," As May's voice rose, Mila started to fuss and cry, letting her mom and sister know how she felt about her nap being interrupted. Before May could react, Athena took Mila out of her arms, settling her against her shoulder, and rubbing soothing circles along her back to calm her. Her cries soon subsided and she was asleep again. May look sheepishly at her mother, feeling guilty about her outburst. "We almost lost you, Esha, and Mila. And you're still not fully healed. A lot's going on right now and I should be here, not across the country."

Athena looked at May, saddened by her daughters response. They never really had the chance to talk about it. May was right, a lot had happened, in the past three months alone. The aftermath of all of it was still happening. In the chaos, they didn't really take the time they should have to about how they were really feeling about all of it.

"May. Look at me," May looked at her and she could see the tears welling in her eyes. "You remember when you were seven and you were scared for me to leave for my shift because "the bad people come out at night"?" May nodded, "what did I tell you?"

"You told me not to worry because you knew how to handle it. That everything would always be okay even when it doesn't feel like it."

"The same thing applies here," Athena grabbed her daughter by the chin and turned her face towards her, "look May I could care less what school you go to, but I don't want you to get in the habit of thinking you have to derail your life choices because of any of us. As loathe as I am to admit it, you're an adult Mayelle and I want you to live the life you want to live. If that starts with sending you across the country to Atlanta, so be it. It was a scary experience for all of us. The thought of not being here for you and your siblings anymore... it's terrifying, but I can't let it stop me from moving forward. I'm not and I'm not going to let it stop you either. Do you still wanna go to Spelman?"

"Yeah, I do," May answered quickly.

"Then that's where we're sending you. I'll make you a deal: you go to Spelman and see how you like it this semester. If you're still feeling like you're too far from home, I have no problem with you transferring to school here in California, okay?"

"Deal." May said as her mother kissed her on the forehead. "But I want pictures, they're gonna do a lot of growing over these next four months and I wanna see it. I'm not gonna be able to come home that much, round trip, cross country airfare is no joke."

"Of course, but I thought you didn't want me calling you all the time."

"I've changed my mind. You know it's funny, a few months ago I was really glad that you were having the babies to distract you from me being gone, you know, not miss me as much."

"May, you're my first born, my baby, the one that finally made me a parent. There wasn't a force on this earth that was gonna distract me from missing you. You not being able to come home often is bothering me, but I trust that you have your own life to lead, making new friends, having new experiences."

"Who knows, I might meet that Morehouse man that grandma Bea wants me to bring home for Thanksgiving so badly." Athena sighed deeply, remembering that conversation the three of them had after May'd found out she'd been accepted.

"Ignore your grandmother, she'll be fine with whoever you bring home, when that time comes."

"You sure about that. We all know she, still to this day, only halfway tolerates Bobby. Only more so now because of Esha and Mila."

"Semantics, like I said, she'll be fine." Athena rose from the bed, Mila still comfortable asleep against her, "what I want you to do is finish packing and make sure your have everything you need."

"Yes ma'am," May moved back to the floor, sitting in front of the box she'd been packing earlier, "hey mom, I love you."

"I love you, too."

Before she could cross the threshold of May's room, she heard the faint cries of her other daughter and her son calling out to her and Bobby. Without turning around, she could tell May was getting ready to get up. "Sit. Focus on what you're doing. We've got her."

* * *

**Let me know what you think. Comments are love!**


	4. No, Not Like This

**My heart goes out to all effected by the wildfires raging across the west coast. With everything going on right now, I wish everyone love, light, and safety.**

**This is a bit of angsty so get ready.**

**Chapter Summary: "Time was a slowly ticking, constant string of maybes, what ifs, funneled thoughts, and worst case scenarios. She needed work today, needed it's distraction, it's time consumption. She was allowing herself the space to feel differently tomorrow. That was enough."**

* * *

_Her heart was pounding in her chest, eyes shut tightly, as she sent prayers to anyone that may be listening. The sky was a violent, cataclysmic orange as the fires raged around them. The deafening boom broke into her train of thought. Her vision went white as she suddenly found herself unable to breathe. Her body lunged forward only to pull backwards by two sets of strong arms. As she struggled to free herself, the tighter the arms gripped her. She knew why they were holding her back, she just didn't care. Her singular focus and stubborn nature wouldn't let her. She had to get to him. Panic started to take shape as she watched the blaze rage, violent and unyielding. The smoke was filling her lungs as the wind picked up. She was forcefully pulled back further as she didn't have the strength to move._

_There was immense horror in watching a situation she was absolutely powerless to stop._

Athena rubbed the cool spot next to hers on the bed. Last night was the first night she'd been back in their bedroom. Bringing her nose to his pillow, she inhaled his fading scent: a heady mix of weakened cologne, traces of his favorite body wash, and a simpler time before their lives were sent into complete upheaval. They wouldn't be changed, she needed to keep the smell there as long as possible.

She shuffled to her full length mirror, giving herself a once over. Full work uniform on, decision made. The beeping of the incoming text gave her pause. Michael. As soon as she saw the name she locked her phone. She stared down at the darkened screen feeling the guilt bubbling up from the pit of her stomach. She wasn't ignoring him on purpose. She loved him, but she knew it was another vein attempt to talk her out of returning to work. She could no longer sit around here or be at the hospital.

_It felt as though she'd been blankly staring at the scene for days as everything moved around her. She sat on the edge of one of the ambulances, oxygen mask on her face, not able to take her eyes off of the building. The flames were starting to subside as the blaze was taming. That's when she it, him being carried out of the charred remains of the building. The sight of him nearly broke her. Body stock still, covered in ash, soot, and blood._

He wasn't the only one. Everyone told her to take time off to deal. Buck, May, Hen, Karen, Chimney, Maddie, even Elaine tried to convince her to take her time with this. She couldn't anymore. Time was a slowly ticking, constant string of maybes, what ifs, funneled thoughts, and worst case scenarios. She needed work today, needed it's distraction, it's time consumption. She was allowing herself the space to feel differently tomorrow. That was enough.

The creak of her door and the pitter patter of their daughters' little feet running into the bedroom and towards her. She looked at them, big eyes staring up her, full of innocence, peace, and childish wonder. She envied that innocence, blissfully unaware of the gravity of what was happening. The stuffed tigers that that their father got them, their favorites, clutched in their grasps. Esha held her arms out to be picked up and Athena obliges her. Mila was content to wrap her arms around her legs. Athena bent down and picked her up as well. Their soft baby oil scent and feel of them as she snuggled them had an instant calming effect. She kissed both of them. They'd never cease to bring her joy.

_The hospital, much like the ambulance, was a complete blur of bright light and movement. Of shouted instructions and loud noises. She zeroed in on the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor. Even when everything subsided and it was just her and him until the next nurse came in, that beeping grounded her. It served as beacon of stability. As time passed, it never wavered. In all the unknown, one thing was certain: he was alive. He. Was. Alive._

She saw May and Harry standing at her door and motioned for them to come into the room, too. She didn't make Harry go to school. May came home from college on her own accord, she wasn't convincing her to go back. They were old enough to handle this on the terms they saw fit. May walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her with Harry following suit. May and Harry didn't have the privilege of childish innocence that her babies did, they knew what was going on and understand what all of it meant, much to her chagrin.

But, they also knew that he's fighting. They knew that he was going to come back to them when he was ready. She'd told them that as much as she'd told herself.

Athena held all of her children as tightly to her as they do to her. Though everything wasn't okay right this second, it was going to be. It was. It had to be. They weren't going out like that.

Bobby wasn't going out like that.

* * *

Let me know what you think!

Follow me on Tumblr: Loveistherootofhappiness


End file.
